Idol: Poppy Rock Out With Your Poppy Cock Out

Last week, shock, tears, angst, as Adam Lambert found himself in the bottom three. It was the lip-tremble heard round the world! How could this happen?

It is conceivable, when you get down to this few contestants, that anyone could find themselves in trouble. Fans of Adam may feel so confident of his popularity that they didn’t bother voting. With two contestants voted off the week before, all their votes may have gone to anyone but Adam. Allison was very good last week, and Danny was the same as he always is, which some folks somewhere seem to think is good enough. Adam might have been third. He might even have been fourth.

On the other hand, it is also conceivable that the producers of Idol would pretend Adam was in the bottom three just to drive up the number of votes for this week’s show. From ITunes sales to Google Trends to internet buzz, the data suggest that Adam is soaring above his rivals in popularity, and that should translate to a top two finish even on a bad week. I’m not buying last week’s result at all.

Besides, how can Adam even come close to losing when he has support like this?

It’s rock week this week, and the mentor is Slash. Hurray for a ballad-free zone! It’s also the first week - nay, the first time - that the show has paired up the contestants to perform duets, which could be interesting. One assumes they will pair Adam with Allison, because Adam has the gay, and he can’t be seen giving it to good Christian boys Danny or Kris. America is a land where you can choose same-sex singing or opposite singing, and when it comes to Adam Lambert, I think that I believe that singing should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.

Adam’s solo number is up first, and he’s singing Whole Lotta Love, aka the Top of the Pops feem toon - the first Led Zeppelin song ever performed on the Idol stage! Adam’s rock drag looks terrible - hedgehog hair, biker bling and enough eyeliner to render him cross-eyed - but he’s turned the Elvis sneer up to 11. Adam does have a great rock voice, and he gives this the usual full dose of welly, but I have to admit, it’s far from my favourite performance from him. The judges love it, though. Interestingly, this is the first time I can recall that he’s sung a song about (or rather, aimed at) a woman, though, despite the title, it’s not exactly a love song.

Allison is next, in her own rock leathers plus Ronald McDonald hair and lipstick. Allison is the show’s natural rocker, so this should be her week, though the fact that she’s a girl rocker on Idol means it’s a minor miracle she ever got here. The song is Cry Baby by Jackie Jormp-Jomp. Sorry; Janice Joplin. I think there are many better Joplin songs she could have sung. I’m not feeling this one. Her other choice was Somebody to Love by Jefferson Airplane. God, I would have loved that. I’m now going to pause the show and go listen to that on YouTube.

taylor-and-katherine

Aaand I’m back, and we’re into duet territory already, with Kris versus Danny on Renegade by Styx. Aww, seeing these two together, it’s like Katherine McPhee and Taylor Hicks all over again! I note that, while all the other contestants are wearing black with at least some leather (or, more likely, pleather), Danny has apparently popped out to American Apparel for a safe red shirt, because he don’t have no truck with no devil worshippin’, no sir. Renegade is a great campy song with terrific harmonies, but these boys aren’t exactly rockers. Simon tells Danny that he was better, and man does Kris look pissed.

Kris’s idea of classic rock is… The Beatles. Look, I know that technically that’s permissable; The Beatles belong to that era, and they produced some bona fide classic rock hits, but it’s not exactly true to the spirit of the theme, is it? It’s kind of a pussy choice, Kris. The song is Come Together. He survives it, just about, but Kris Allen does not rock.

Danny Gokey is singing Dream On by Aerosmith, aka all the awesome bits in Sing For The Moment by Eminem. He starts flat, and gamely carries on in that vein for much of the journey. There were no full dress rehearsals this week because of an accident on set, which may explain the general lack of confidence this week, but Danny seems to be suffering from it more than most. His screams at the end are just horrible, and if ever Danny is going to be in trouble, this is the week. His usual flat matt competence is missing.

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It’s been a lacklustre show, but there is one last hope for redemption; the Adam/Allison duet. On reflection, it’s a good thing they paired these two up, because they should be able to have some fun together. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for Dead Ringer For Love. Sadly it is not to be. The song is… Slow Ride by… Foghat? Is that a real thing? Foghat? Never heard of them, but never mind. Adam and Allison give it their all, they sound terrific together, and they’re having a great time.

I have to say, I thought Allison would be going home this week, but after that last performance, and after Kris gave such a poor accounting of himself, I think it’s time to say goodbye to Idol’s pocket pin-up. Danny was far and away the worst of the night, but his supporters are immune to both reason and music.

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2 Responses to “Idol: Poppy Rock Out With Your Poppy Cock Out”

  1. Stu_n Says:

    If you’re going to do a Beatles rock number, at least have the decency to do Helter Skelter.

  2. Helen Says:

    Loved that little child getting their Adam fix.

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